Names
by VioletRose13
Summary: One-shot. Maleficent learns something about Hades one morning.


It was another ordinary, gray morning on the Isle of the Lost and everyone was waking up and getting ready for their dismal morning routines. Hades opened the door of his new home; he had dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't had a decent night's rest in centuries.

"I hate Monday mornings on the Isle…" He grumbled with a yawn as he bent down to grab the morning newspaper off the doorstep.

He stood straight, but just as he was about to head inside, he felt something hard hit him in the side of the head. He yelped in surprise and pain.

"Hey! Watch it!" He yelled at a figure that quickly disappeared around the corner.

Hades looked down and saw the thing that hit him; it was a scroll. He picked it up and went back inside, wondering what it could possibly be. He sat down at the kitchen table, set the paper down next to him, and rolled open the scroll, only for his eyes to widen as he read. He rolled it back up and threw it into the nearest trash can as fast as he possibly could… just as his beloved wife came in; she was nearly six months pregnant with their child.

"Morning, Hades." Maleficent said with a yawn.

"Oh! Hey, Malef. Morning." Hades said, picking up the newspaper and pretending to read it.

Maleficent paused and adjusted her favorite black silk robe. "Is… everything okay?"

"Huh? Me? Oh yeah! Yeah, I'm fine. I'm cool, I'm good." Her husband quickly answered, trying to act casual.

'Hmmm, something's up. Hades is _never_ this awake in the morning.' The dark fairy thought before she noticed something in the trash.

She meandered over to the trash can and pulled out the scroll Hades threw away a few moments ago. She furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Hmm, what's this?" She asked herself.

But just as she was about to open the scroll, Hades snatched it out of her hands as fast as he could. Maleficent let out a cry in surprise.

"Hey! What are you doing? Give that back this instant!" She demanded, reaching out her hands and failing to grab the scroll.

"No. I can't." Hades said, raising the scroll over his head so his wife couldn't reach it.

"Why not? What is it anyway?"

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"Nothing, eh? Then why won't you let me look at it?"

"Uh, well, uh, um…" He hid the paper behind his back.

The fairy paused. "…It's about _you_, isn't it?"

"No comment." Hades replied, temporarily looking away.

"Aha! Gotcha!" Maleficent cried as she finally took the scroll from her husband's hands.

"No, no, no! Please Maleficent, don't! Don't read it! It's embarrassing!" Hades cried out.

"Really? Oooh, now I want to read it even _more_!" She started to unroll the scroll.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, NOOO!" The God of the Underworld screamed, covering his face with his hands.

Maleficent excitedly opened the scroll and began to read, only for her expression to twist into one of confusion. She raised an eyebrow.

"What… what is this?" She asked before she kept on reading; she recognized quite a few names of most of the Greek Gods… and Hades was included.

When she got to her husband's name, she paused and turned her head to look at him. Hades was sitting at the table again and he was looking at her with an embarrassed expression on his face. Maleficent raised an eyebrow at him.

"…_Pluto_?"

Hades let out an exasperated sigh. "…Yes."

"But… what is it?"

"That… is my Roman name."

The kitchen immediately fell silent for a moment or two before Maleficent suddenly burst into hysterical laughter. She was laughing so hard, she was leaning on the table for support and she even dropped the scroll.

"PLUTO?! Oh my gosh, that is the most _ridiculous_ thing I have EVER heard!" She continued to laugh and her eyes began to water.

"Will you please…?" Hades sighed again.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Can't breathe, I can't breathe!" Maleficent said in between fits of giggles.

"Okay, we get it. We all know Pluto's a funny name. Will you cut it out?" The God said, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

"Okay… Okay. Phew!" Maleficent said as she finally started to calm down; she wiped tears from her eyes and took in a few breaths. "Okay. I'm done. No more."

"Good." Hades said before burying his face in his hands.

The dark fairy took in a few more breaths and looked at her husband; she relaxed. "Hey, what's the matter?"

The God let out another sigh. "I was hoping you would never have to see that."

Maleficent gave her husband a sad look before she strode over to him; she gently placed her head on his shoulder.

"Come on, Hades, don't be embarrassed. I'm sorry I laughed. Forgive me?" She asked in a baby voice, batting her eyes.

Hades opened his eyes and was surprised to see his wife's beautiful face an inch or two away from his; she was giving him her sad puppy eyes and he smirked at her.

"How can I say no to those eyes?" He said, kissing her cheek. "I love you, Malef."

"I love you, too." Maleficent said before sitting down next to him. "I really am sorry for laughing at you. I've just never heard anything so hilarious in my life."

Hades let out an empty chuckle. "Hilarious? Try humiliating. When I first found out the Romans gave me that name, I was _steamed_. And I mean it. I kept yelling and ranting things like 'What kinda name is that?' and 'I wouldn't name my dog Pluto!' and stuff like that. I mean, seriously; who in the right mind even came up with the name 'Pluto'? It just sounds so stupid."

She giggled and affectionately took his hand. "Well, think of it this way. At least the Romans didn't give you a _really_ stupid name."

"Like what?"

"Like, um… Sheldon?"

Hades opened his mouth to speak before he paused. He chuckled. "…That _is_ worse than Pluto."

"And be thankful they didn't name you after food either. Like Waffle or Lasagna. People would be laughing at you for countless generations."

Hades laughed some more. "Good point. You _always_ know how to make me laugh, don't you?"

"What can I say?" She playfully shrugged.

He paused. "…And please don't tell me you're craving lasagna with blueberries and maple syrup for breakfast."

"Fortunately, no. I'm not."

"Good. I honestly don't know how you pregnant women can even stomach garbage like that. Blech, gross."

"It's a mystery. But don't worry, I'll keep your secret… _Pluto_."

They shared another laugh before Maleficent suddenly gasped; she clutched her stomach. Hades' eyes widened.

"Malef? What is it? What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.

"No, nothing's wrong, dear." She said; she looked up at him and gave him a smile. "Just give me your hand, quick."

"Uh, why?"

"Quick, before it stops."

"Before what stops?"

"Oh, for the love of…"

Maleficent then grabbed Hades' left wrist and placed his hand on the curve of her rounded stomach.

"What are you—?" The God asked.

"Shush! Just wait." Maleficent hissed.

The two waited in silence for a few moments until Hades felt something underneath his hand; his eyes widened and his mouth nearly fell open when he realized… it was a kick. The baby was kicking. He looked at Maleficent who had a beaming smile on her face.

"Feel that?" She asked in a whisper.

He smiled and nodded, but stayed silent; she tenderly placed her hand on his.

"Either the baby wants me to stop laughing, or she also finds the name Pluto funny." Maleficent joked.

"At least now we know what _not_ to name her." Hades commented.

"Speaking of which, what _should_ we name the baby?"

"I'm not sure. Any suggestions, Snake Eyes?"

"_I_ don't have any, but…" The dark fairy paused and gave her husband a mischievous smile. "…since _you've_ always wanted a daughter, _you_ should be the one to name her."

"Me?"

"Of course. Now, any ideas?"

"Well, now that you mention it, I do have one in mind."

"And that is…?"

"Why don't we name our baby after her amazing, beautiful mother?"

Maleficent raised an eyebrow. "What? You want to give our baby MY name? Won't that get a little confusing… and embarrassing?"

"Already got that covered. We can call her 'Mal' for short. What do you say?"

"Mal… I like it."

"Then it's settled… although I'd love to call her Mally."

"Well… why don't you?"

Hades raised an eyebrow and smirked at his wife. She smirked back at him.

"You wanna do the thing again, don't you?" She asked.

"Can I?" He asked.

"…Go for it."

She playfully rolled her eyes and stood up just as her husband got down onto his knees and placed his right ear on his wife's belly.

"Hey, Mally. It's daddy. Can you hear me in there?" He playfully whispered. "Do you like that name? You do? Great. But if you don't, I guess you'll have to get used it."

Maleficent giggled and placed her hand on her husband's head, brushing her fingers through his bright blue hair. Then she felt her stomach growl in hunger; Hades looked up at her and gave her a smirk.

"Hungry?" He asked, standing up.

"Yep." Maleficent answered, a blush forming on her cheeks.

"What'll it be this time?"

"…Is it possible to have _waffles_ for breakfast today? I am really craving waffles right now… I blame you."

Hades smiled and laughed before kissing his wife. "Now that sounds delicious. I'm on it." He headed over to the stove to cook breakfast.

"I love you so much, Hothead." Maleficent beamed, lucky to have such a wonderful husband like Hades.

"I love you too." Hades smiled back.


End file.
